Search your soul

The Art of Decluttering

By //  by 

Transforming your space, mind, + life

In a world where material possessions often accumulate faster than we realize, the act of decluttering has become a powerful practice for improving not just our homes but our minds and well-being. Decluttering is more than just tidying up; it’s about creating a space that reflects clarity, purpose, and peace. By letting go of unnecessary items, we invite a sense of calm and focus into our lives.

Let’s explore the benefits of decluttering, as well as some practical examples of how it can positively impact your daily life.

1. Mental clarity + reduced stress

One of the most profound benefits of decluttering is its effect on mental health. When we are surrounded by clutter, our brains are constantly processing the chaos around us. This creates a sense of overwhelm and can make it harder to focus or relax. Studies have shown that people who live in cluttered environments experience higher levels of stress and anxiety.

For instance, imagine walking into a living room with piles of papers, misplaced items, and cluttered surfaces. It can be difficult to fully unwind in that environment because the visual noise signals that there’s work to be done. Now imagine a living room with only essential, meaningful items—a space that feels intentional. Decluttering removes distractions and creates an environment where your mind can rest and recharge.

Overcome excuses: Start by decluttering spaces that have fewer emotional ties, like the bathroom, pantry, or laundry room. Once you see how these clean spaces affect your mood, you’ll be more motivated to tackle areas with sentimental items.

2. Boosted productivity + focus

Clutter not only causes stress but also impairs productivity. When your environment is disorganized, it becomes harder to find what you need, wasting time and energy. A clean, organized space allows you to focus on the task at hand without unnecessary distractions.

For example, think about your workspace. If your desk is covered in papers, random objects, and unused items, it’s harder to focus on work or even know where to start. By decluttering your desk, keeping only what you need and removing distractions, you create a more productive environment. The act of tidying up often brings clarity to your mind, helping you prioritize tasks and work more efficiently.

Overcome excuses: Break it down into smaller tasks. Start with just 10 minutes a day or focus on one small area, like a drawer or a shelf. Once you begin, momentum builds, making it easier to keep going.

3. Improved decision-making

When we hold on to too many items, we clutter our decision-making process. A cluttered closet, for example, can make it difficult to choose an outfit in the morning, leading to decision fatigue before the day even begins. The more options we have, the harder it can be to make a choice.

By decluttering and simplifying, we reduce the number of decisions we have to make, which frees up mental energy for more important things. In a minimalist wardrobe, every item has a purpose, and getting dressed becomes quicker and more satisfying.

Overcome excuses: Trust that letting go creates space for what you need. If you haven’t used an item in six months to a year, chances are you won’t miss it. Donate it and know that if you ever truly need something, you’ll find a way to replace it when necessary.

4. Enhanced well-being + happiness

Decluttering has a direct link to improved emotional well-being. Letting go of things that no longer serve a purpose can bring a sense of accomplishment and liberation. It helps us release attachments to the past and focus on the present.

Take, for example, sentimental clutter. Many people hold onto items they no longer use simply because of the emotional weight tied to them—old gifts, outdated clothing, or things kept out of guilt. While it’s important to treasure meaningful items, too many of them can weigh us down. Decluttering allows us to keep the things that genuinely bring joy and let go of the rest, lightening our emotional load.

Overcome excuses: Reframe your thinking: the purpose of a gift was to bring you joy when it was given, and it’s okay to let it go if it’s no longer useful. Similarly, consider that the money you spent has already served its purpose. By donating or recycling, you give those items a second life with someone who will appreciate them.

5. Financial benefits

Decluttering can also have a positive impact on your finances. By evaluating what you already own, you become more mindful of your future purchases. When you regularly declutter and organize your possessions, you’re less likely to buy things you don’t need.

For example, after decluttering your kitchen, you may realize you have multiple gadgets that serve the same purpose. Instead of buying another kitchen tool, you’ll recognize that simplifying your tools helps you use what you have more efficiently.

Overcome excuses: Implement a “one in, one out” rule: for every new item you bring into your home, something else must go. This keeps your space balanced and forces you to be more selective with new purchases.

Decluttering is more than just cleaning up—it’s a transformative process that benefits your mind, space, and overall quality of life. By removing unnecessary items, we create an environment of clarity and peace. Whether it’s your home, workspace, or closet, decluttering helps you focus on what truly matters, reduces stress, and enhances your well-being. So why not start today? Take small steps, and watch the ripple effect as decluttering opens up more space for calm, creativity, and joy in your life!

Suicide Prevention Awareness

By //  by 

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.

We can all help prevent suicide. Every year, NAMI and other mental health organizations and individuals across the U.S. and around the world raise awareness of suicide prevention during September, National Suicide Prevention Month.

Suicides in the U.S. reached all-time high in 2022, CDC data shows. About 49,449 people took their own lives last year, an estimated 3% increase compared to 2021 and is on rise this year. As more data comes in this year, on average, that means at the end of calendar year 2023 there will be one suicide death in the US every 10.9 minutes.

Suicides in adults ages 25 to 44 grew about 1%. The new data indicates that suicide became the second leading cause of death in that age group in 2022, up from No. 4 in 2021. Based on these statistics, someone out there may be contemplating suicide, possibly at this very moment. When an individual considers suicide, it may not be that they want to end their life, but instead may want to end the pain they’re currently in. Not knowing how to end this pain can feel like an insurmountable roadblock. When encountering a barrier like this, we may think we need to leap over it in a single stride, or find THE solution to our problems. No doubt that can seem impossible. And if that’s what living looks like, impossible, then one may start to think that dying is their only other option.

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

― Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Stress is certainly a normal part of our lives, and can be an important catalyst of growth and performance. At times however, our stressors can seem to overwhelm our ability to manage them. If we can be more aware of the common signs of poor stress management, then conquering our stressors may become a little bit more manageable. When stress feels overwhelming, it can impact us physically, mentally, and socially. Physically, we may notice disruption to our sleep patterns or experience appetite changes, which can lead to lower energy and more frequent sickness. We may experience emotional or psychological distress, leading to anger, low motivation, anxiety, or even hopelessness. Furthermore, when chronically distressed we may socially withdraw, isolate, or disengage in activities we once enjoyed. When these responses add on to the original stressors, it can begin to feel unmanageable.

How do we address this?

One way is to adopt MySoulrenity’s 4 C’s of Mental Wellness.

The first C of mental wellness is Connection. Establishing meaningful connections with others is a valuable tool in the prevention of suicide. We must be proactive in building and maintaining relationships with others. This doesn’t always come easily, but with some help, strong relationships can be a powerful buffer against stress.

Second, engaging in Craft is essential to promote mental wellness. This involves focusing on your strengths and positive attributes. For instance, when feeling down it may be helpful to reflect on past times of resilience. Hard times can sometimes feel never-ending. Thinking back on experiences in which you have overcome, for instance completing basic training, passing a challenging academic course, or finishing a race or competition, can enhance your motivation to endure the current moment.

Additionally, practicing Centering Yourself can be helpful. Being mindful of our emotions helps us differentiate between what is and what is not in our control. Focusing on what is currently in your control, while also practicing gratitude or being thankful for the good that is present, may help to further promote resilience.

The 4th C of Mental Wellness is seeking a Change of Scenery, specifically as it pertains to getting your body moving. Movement involves both physical activity, like daily exercise, and taking action to manage our stress. Mental wellness, like physical wellness, requires work and intentional exercise of healthy behaviors. We all get to choose how we exercise our mental wellness, whether it be talking to others, engaging in creative activities, or practicing meditation. Whatever we do, it should be regular and intentional.

If you find that you or someone you know is struggling, please seek or offer support. Wellbeing is a team sport, and none of us are expected to perform solo. If you’re or someone you know is in emotional distress or suicidal crisis know that help is available – dial 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, where counselors are available 24 hours (English, Spanish). Not in the USA? Look at Google’s Crisis Information country list that comes from high-quality websites, partnerships, medical professionals, and search results.

If you have lost someone to suicide or a mental health crisis check out support groups, including an organization called Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors that operates a 24/7 online forum.

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month provides a dedicated time for people, organizations, and communities to join their voices and share that there is hope, help is available, and healing is possible. MySoulrenity always has our door or inbox open for you to reach out to us, please don’t hesitate to look for support.

Health During Heat Waves

By //  by 

If there’s one kind of weather extreme that scientists clearly link to climate change, it’s worsening heat waves. In general, climate models indicate that heat waves all over the globe will grow more frequent and more intense as the world warms.

There’s the typical hot summer weather—and then there are heat waves! Much like other natural disasters, heat waves can be very dangerous.

Most of the world’s population has experienced record-breaking heat in recent days. This year, something else is adding fuel to the fire: the El Niño climate pattern. That seasonal shift makes global temperatures warmer, which could make 2023 the hottest year ever recorded.

Heat waves are already the deadliest weather-related disaster in the U.S. Not only do extreme temperatures cause heat exhaustion and severe dehydration, they also raise the risk of having a heart attack or stroke. Those risks are even higher in neighborhoods that are lower-income and communities of color, where research has found temperatures are hotter than in white neighborhoods. However, anyone can suffer from a heat-related illness if they over-exert themselves or simply don’t take extreme heat warnings seriously.

What are heat waves?

A heat wave is a prolonged period of unusually high temperatures for a region. Interestingly, there is no universal definition in terms of “how high.” To be considered a heat wave, the temperatures have to be outside the historical averages for a given area.

That said, we often think of a heat wave typically lasting 2 or 3 (or more) days—and generally 10 degrees or more above average. Heat waves happen when there is trapped air that will feel like the inside of an oven! Usually, the culprit is a high-pressure system that forces air downward.

This force prevents air near the ground from rising. The sinking air acts like a cap. It traps warm ground air in place. Without rising air, there was no rain, and nothing to prevent the hot air from getting hotter.

heat-figure_full_width.jpg

Heat can kill!

Heat is the number one weather-related killer. Heat kills by pushing the human body beyond its limits. In extreme heat and high humidity, evaporation is slowed and the body must work extra hard to maintain a normal temperature.

Most heat disorders occur because the victim has been overexposed to heat or has over-exercised for his or her age and physical condition. Older adults, young children and those who are sick or overweight are more likely to succumb to extreme heat.

Conditions that can induce heat-related illnesses include stagnant atmospheric conditions and poor air quality. Consequently, people living in urban areas may be at greater risk from the effects of a prolonged heat wave than those living in rural areas. Asphalt and concrete also store heat longer and gradually release heat at night, which can produce higher nighttime temperatures known as the “urban heat island effect.”

While extreme cold is also dangerous, heat waves become life-threatening more quickly if proper precautions are not taken. Heat was responsible for 1,577 deaths in 2021—a 56% increase from 1,012 deaths in 2018. 

Preparation and Prevention Tips – Heat wave dangers

  1. Properly install window air conditioners, sealing any cracks and insulating if necessary
  2. Check A/C ducts for proper insulation and clean filters
  3. Install awnings, blinds, or light-colored drapes and keep them closed to keep sunlight and heat out
  4. Upgrade your windows and weather-strip doors to keep heat out and cool air in
  5. Make sure your first aid kit is updated and get trained in first aid relief
  6. Have a plan for wherever you (and your family members/pets) spend time during a heat wave—home, work, and school—and prepare for power outages. Discuss heat safety precautions with members of your household.
  7. Check the contents of your emergency disaster kit in case a power outage occurs
  8. Be aware of weather forecasts and the upcoming temperature changes
  9. It’s not just the high temperature. The heat index is the temperature the body feels when the effects of heat and humidity are combined. See the heat index chart.
  10. A home generator is the safest and most reliable solution. Power outages are common during heat waves because the need for A/C puts too much pressure on the power grids. A standby generator, however, automatically keeps the A/C running, the lights on, food and medicine from spoiling, and medical devices operating. 

During a heat wave remember…

Stay hydrated with plenty of water—even if you’re not thirsty. Hot weather causes you to sweat, and it’s vital to replenish the lost fluids or you’ll overheat. Have a water bottle within reach as you go about your day to avoid dehydration. Try to stay inside during the hottest part of the day (10 A.M. to 4 P.M.) and limit time outside in the sun. Avoid strenuous activity and postpone outdoor games and events. 

While it’s tempting, please don’t drink alcohol, sugary soda, coffee, energy drinks, or other caffeinated beverages, as they dehydrate you! That’s the last thing you need during a heat wave. It’s also recommended that you eat small meals and eat more often. Eat food with nutrients (not empty carbs) and also food with higher water content (fruits and vegetables) and wear light, loose-fitting, airy, light-colored clothing and a hat made of breathable material. Tight clothing traps heat. 

Warning signs…

Heat and sweating also can lower the amount of fluid in the body, which can reduce blood volume and lead to dehydration. This can interfere with the body’s ability to cool off and may create strain on the heart.

When the body loses more fluid than is taken in, the body may not have enough water or other fluids to carry out its normal functions. Anyone can become dehydrated, and it can lead to serious complications for people at greater risk due to age, chronic conditions or outdoor activity like work or exercise.

People with a history of high blood pressure should monitor their blood pressure during heat waves. They also should drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated, avoid the midday heat, eat a healthy diet, apply sunscreen if outdoors and wear a hat. In most cases, when in doubt, stay inside a cool environment in your home.

Your body isn’t keeping up with the heat if you experience:

  • Cold, clammy skin
  • Confusion
  • Dizziness
  • Disorientation
  • Rapid pulse
  • Excessive sweating or an inability to sweat
  • Fatigue
  • High body temperature (over 103 degrees) with dry skin (not sweating)
  • Headache
  • Muscle cramps or spasms
  • Nausea
  • Swelling in your arms or legs

If you or a loved one are exhibiting more than one or two of these symptoms, seek medical intervention immediately.

If you feel overheated, cool off with wet washcloths on your wrists and neck, or take a cool sponge bath or shower. Carry a cold water bottle spray or cooling facial mist with you, and spritz cold water on your pressure points to bring your body temperature down.

Keep others safe

During hot weather, check on your neighbors and friends, and be sure someone will check on you, especially if you live alone. Don’t forget about your pets! Keep their water dishes full, keep pets in air-conditioning, and never leave them (or children!) in the hot car. Don’t learn the hard way, some medications can affect your ability to stay hydrated and respond to high temperatures so check with your prescriber if you want to be safe.

During heat waves, tune in to a NOAA radio station and listen for weather updates from the National Weather Service (NWS).

Too hot at the house? Go to the library or a designated public shelter if your home loses power during periods of extreme heat. Text SHELTER + your ZIP code to 43362 (4FEMA) to find the nearest shelter in your area (example: shelter 12345). 

We hope these tips are helpful during the next heat wave. Print out this list and place it with your First Aid Kit so you’re better prepared when the next heat wave hits.

Pride In The Workplace

By //  by 

Find out why we celebrate Pride and how workplaces can use this time of the year as an opportunity to engage with and increase understanding of the LGBTQ+ community and promote inclusion.

Many of you will have plans in place to celebrate and take action on LGBTQ+ inclusion as part of Pride Month 2023.

At MySoulrenity, we want to ensure we’re encouraging organizations to take a practical, holistic approach to LGBTQ+ inclusion that goes beyond rainbow logos. Pride Month is a fantastic time to engage with the LGBTQ+ community and progress LGBTQ+ inclusion goals in your organization.

But, Pride Month isn’t just about the Pride Month flags, the LGBTQ+ Pride Month facts or Pride Month resources because LGBTQI+ inclusion takes place 365 days of the year.

Not only will we be explaining why Pride Month is an important time of year and sharing ways to celebrate pride at work, but we will also show you how your efforts during this time can make a positive impact for your LGBTQ+ colleagues every day in the workplace.  

What is Pride month?

Pride Month is about acceptance, equality and celebrating the work of LGBTQ+ people. These celebrations usually take place in the form of an outdoor parade, where large crowds gather to march, often waving the rainbow pride flag as their banner.

These marches are not only an opportunity for the LGBTQ+ community to show their pride in their sexual orientation or gender identity, but sometimes also serve as demonstrations for legal rights such as same-sex marriage or as we have seen in the news recently, complete protection from conversion therapy.

Pride Month is also an opportunity to raise awareness about LGBTQ+ history and educate the general public about LGBTQIA2-S+ topics.

The history of Pride Month

Pride is not just a celebration. Although it is an important to time to celebrate the progress that has been made across legislation, attitudes and behaviors, it is also a continued protest.

The first Pride, in June 1970, marked the first anniversary since the uprising at New York’s Stonewall Inn.

Since then, the parades have also been a sign of fighting for liberation, visibility and equality. Pride has had a more protest feel than a parade. The Pride Month meaning remains the same and is a time for people within the community, and their allies, to celebrate successes in LGBTQ+ inclusion, but it is also a time for reflection.

Everyone will have different experiences to reflect on. For example, on personal journeys of self-discovery and acceptance or remembering friends and loved ones lost during the HIV/Aids pandemic of the 80s and 90s.

For the LGBTQ+ community, history plays a significant part in shaping the current story and reminds us: although lots of progress has been made, there is still lots more to do.

At first, the month was known as “gay Pride Month”, but has now progressed to include and reflect on all the LGBTQIA2-S+ community.

When is Pride Month?

Pride Month takes place every year in June because the event that started the gay rights movement in the United States of America began in June 1969 in New York City’s Greenwich Village, at the Stonewall Inn.

It was a popular gathering for the LGBTQIA2-S+ community and was the target of a police raid on 28 June 1969. The police arrested the bar’s employees for selling liquor without a license and physically assaulted many of the patrons as they forced them to leave the inn.  

The LGBTQIA2-S+ community in Greenwich Village, witnessing this police harassment, decided to intervene, forcing the police to call for backup as 400 people rioted.

The police eventually dispersed the crowds, but the Stonewall Riots would continue to inspire the gay rights movement in the United States.

It’s useful for organizations to be aware that some Pride events may take place in July. You can find out when your local Pride parade is happening, by checking the website of your local LGBTQIA2-S+ organizations or view a worldwide Pride month calendar.

Why is Pride Month important?

A lot of progress has been made for LGBTQIA2-S+ rights regarding issues such as marriage equality, but there is more employers can do to support the LGBTQIA2-S+ community.

For the most marginalized groups in the LLGBTQIA2-S+ community, we are seeing backwards trends to progress. The trans community are facing laws being passed across the world to make inclusion and transition an even more difficult topic and process than it already is.

There are also rising numbers of trans murders and violence. Those who are part of the ‘silent letters’ groups within the community (including non-binary, agender, gender queer) also face discrimination, harassment, and erasure.

Employers can play a big part this Pride Month by stepping up and taking action to make sure everyone in the LGBTQIA2-S+ community feels safe and included at work every day of the year.  

Ways to celebrate Pride Month at work

It is for all these reasons, that as employers and workplaces, we show solidarity and support to the LGBTQIA2-S+ community at this time of year (and always!).

The great news is everyone can do something, even if it’s something little to start your journey of LGBTQIA2-S+ inclusion today. Share the below LGBTQIA2-S+ Pride Month ideas with your teams to inspire them into action for Pride Month 2023:

Raise awareness and educate

Making assumptions on sexuality, gender and sex, based on heteronormative ideas is not acceptable. We shouldn’t make assumptions based on our own world view. Learning more about all groups of people and individuals can help to challenge this.

We have a new LGBTQIA2-S+ glossary that will help you become familiar with all the LGBTQIA2-S+ terms and give you the confidence to raise awareness and have important conversations at work.

Challenge exclusionary behavior

If your friends or colleagues aren’t using the right language, step in, don’t step by. It’s important we show solidarity and try to embed positive change even if we’re not the one impacted.

Stepping in before harmful behavior turns into bullying and harassment will also help avoid discrimination cases or losing LGBTQIA2-S+ talent. Recognize and challenge transphobic, biphobic, and homophobic bias and discrimination, including microaggressions in professional and personal environments.

There are lots of strategies to call out unacceptable behavior at work and managers can play a key role on how to tackle overt and obvious exclusionary behavior, in the moment and within policy. We can help share with you a quick guide for the framework that works best for your organization. 

Attend webinars

Everyone can benefit from learning more about LGBTQIA2-S+ topics. Whether you’re a member of the LGBTQIA2-S+ community who wants to learn more about how history was made when it came to gaining rights, or if you want to become an ally and support the community, webinars are an interactive and fun way to gain more knowledge.

Check out the webinars about various LGBTQIA2-S+ topics throughout Pride month to support the cause.

Share stories and realities

Pride is a celebration, but don’t get caught up in just doing the performative actions.

Invite colleagues to share their Pride Month stories in meetings, webinars and events. Make sure you take the time to hear the experiences of those who are a direct part of the community.

Showcase Pride Month with decoration

As we mentioned previously, rainbow logos and rainbow flags should not be your only way of showing allyship to the LGBTQIA2-S+ community.

But, in combination with other forms of allyship, decorating your workplace with Pride flags can be a way to communicate to your LGBTQIA2-S+ colleagues, clients and visitors that your organization is a safe space for them.

If you’re going to display a flag in your workplace in support of the LGBTQIA2-S+ community, we would recommend the new Pride flag. The new flag has been redesigned to incorporate elements from various LGBTQIA2-S+ subcultures. You can see this flag and learn about all the LGBTQIA2-S+ flags in this guide to LGBTQIA2-S+ flags.

Consider updating email signatures

Misgendering happens when we jump to the conclusion that someone is ‘male’ or ‘female’ based on characteristics such as name, gender presentation or even the sound of someone’s voice.

When we jump to these conclusions, we often use gendered pronouns, titles, etc. incorrectly. For example, trans or cis women may experience misgendering if they have short hair because many people associate short hair with masculinity.

Misgendering can have a negative impact on people’s emotional well-being, especially if the person is trans or non-binary. One way we can prevent misgendering is to encourage our colleagues to include their pronouns in their email signatures or social media profiles.

Adding our pronouns to our email signatures, social media profiles and stating them at the start of meetings is a simple step cisgender people can take to enable those from the non-binary and transgender communities to feel more seen and recognized.

Promote allyship and be ready to listen

Allyship in the workplace is crucial for inclusion and equality. Research shows that having just one strong ally can help reduce the possibility of suicidal thoughts of LGBTQIA2-S+ people by 40%. Having someone to actively listen and being able to signpost help is something we can all do.

If you want to be an LGBTQIA2-S+ ally but are unsure where to start, let us share a quick guide about the various types of allyship and what actions you can take.

Provide media for your team to explore

Interacting with LGBTQIA2-S+ media such as books, films and TV shows can be a fun and easy way of learning about LGBTQIA2-S+ history and other LGBTQIA2-S+ topics.

We have Pride Month media suggestions to share with your friends or colleagues to encourage them to learn and engage with these topics in a medium that suits their learning style.

Don’t forget…

Pride also serves as a collective reminder of the importance of safety, visibility, and inclusion of LGBTQIA2-S+ communities.  Because of the stresses associated with societal discrimination, hostility, rejection, and stigma toward diverse sexualities and genders, LGBTQIA2-S+ people face significant disparities in health outcomes and social determinants of health. Transgender+ and bisexual+ community members, in particular, are often marginalized within LGBTQIA2-S+ spaces and healthcare environments. BIPOC transgender women and gender nonconforming people are disproportionately targeted in acts of anti-transgender hate and violence. 

Making assumptions on sexuality, gender and sex, based on heteronormative ideas is not acceptable. We shouldn’t make assumptions based on our own world view. Learning more about all groups of people and individuals can help to challenge this. Pride is a celebration, but don’t get caught up in just doing the performative actions. Allyship isn’t all just rainbows and pride flags, and it will take a lot more work to cede the oppression faced by LGBTQIA2-S+ people every day

Here at MySoulrenity, we are driven to help employers recognize and understand the importance of celebrations such as Pride month. We are also committed to helping organizations when Pride month ends with our new DEI line of workshops, Diversity + Inclusion Workshop , ABCs of LGBTQ+ Workshop, or our Diverse + Inclusive Activities available for individuals or businesses.

Bring Abundance to Your Bank

By //  by 

Financial abundance is something that everyone wants, right? Regardless of your goals or what you know or don’t know about money, thinking about it positively can help immensely.

What is financial abundance?

The term “financial abundance” is more of a mindset than a number. It is a state of feeling thankful for what you have and being comfortable with the amount of money you make. It is also when you feel confident about finances. As you can tell, specifics with this will vary from person to person; it’s a very individual matter.

Now you know what it means, but let’s find out more about the mindset of financial abundance.

This state of mind is characterized by feeling like there are plenty of possibilities and money is available for you. You don’t feel that money is limited but that there is always more than enough.

Want to cultivate that mindset?

Financial abundance is a nice thought, but how do you achieve it? How do you develop this mindset and get your money to cooperate with it? Here are some tips.

1. Stay healthy.

To achieve anything or be successful in any part of your life, you need to be healthy. This includes mental, physical, and emotional health. Eat well, exercise, meditate and do what helps you feel your best. Then you’ll be ready to go after your dreams.

2. Stop comparing.

Don’t let comparison hold you back! If you spend time thinking about what others have, it takes away from what you have time to do for your own life. Instead of letting envy tear you down, work towards your own goals with money.

3. Mind your belongings.

Sometimes people may get the impression that those that have money are wasteful. In reality, if they worked hard for their money, they probably take good care of their own things because they want to be wise with what they have. To develop a financial abundance lifestyle, take care of the things you own. Try to make them last, don’t be wasteful, and remember to appreciate what you have.

4. Don’t stop learning.

If we don’t learn, we just stay the same and can’t expect to progress to new levels of wealth. Be willing to learn new things, such as investment terms, marketable skills, or anything that will help you be more successful. Seek out skills that can aid you with making more money or will make you a more well-rounded person. To begin, start by reading and pursuing information about new subjects. Primarily focus on financial skills and knowledge that will help you with financial abundance. 

5. Prioritize a core group of friends over a lot casual acquaintances.

With friendships, it’s about quality, not quantity. And it’s better to have just a few trustworthy friends than many people you know casually but can’t really trust or talk to. Investing in close friendships will help you to grow as a person and have people to talk to about your financial journey. You can also help them and be there to listen in their times of need.

6. Live a life of joy.

A financial abundance mindset is all about enjoying life because you aren’t worried about money. It works for you and improves your life. But don’t wait until you reach a certain number in your bank account to enjoy your life. Instead, enjoy your life and the things you have now, even as you work towards more financial success in the future.

7. Forgive but don’t forget.

Holding onto resentment or anger will only cause you to feel worse, and it can distract you from your goals. Choose to forgive others and see the difference it makes in your own life. When you no longer feel constant frustration or hurt from the past, you can explore the future and make positive choices.

8. Stay positive when possible.

Speaking of which, a positive attitude will get you a long way in life. Think about money and your goals in a positive way, choosing to see the best and the possibilities instead of the limitations. This will open up your eyes to everything around you and all the chances you have to seek financial abundance. 

Ready to unlock financial abundance?

Wondering how to get to this point of positivity with money? Here are 8 statements that you can make daily to help you succeed with financial abundance. 

🌟“Wealth is a part of my life.”🌟
Choose to believe that wealth is something that is naturally a part of your life. Think about wealth as a friend that helps you, and you may notice that you feel instantly better. Believe that you have money now and will have more in the future. And then your decisions will naturally gravitate towards wealth and abundance. 

🌟“I deserve to be financially rewarded.”🌟
Believe in your abilities and that you are worthy of being paid large sums of money for your work. You are good at your job, have a lot of excellent skills, and deserve to make more income. This will help you find more ways to do so, just by believing in yourself. So go ahead – ask for that pay raise, go after that promotion, open the business – whatever will help you earn more.

🌟“Money will come into my life in many ways.“🌟
Believe that you’ll make money in the usual ways, like your paycheck, and unexpected ways you haven’t thought of. The idea is to believe that money is out there and that you’ll have what you need when you need it. Begin to look for the unexpected and notice ways to make more cash.

🌟“I do not fear for my financial future.”🌟
You don’t need to worry or feel insecure about your finances as you work towards a financial abundance mindset. Believe that your future with money is something to look forward to, and shouldn’t be feared, because you can create wealth.

🌟“Creativity and dedication will secure my success.”🌟
Success doesn’t come with no effort, but you can make a great future for yourself if you keep trying. Know and believe that every day, and choose to be creative and work hard. Then you’ll get to where you want to be in life.

🌟“Abundance is all around me.”🌟
Choose to see the positivity and good things in every aspect of your life. Your life is filled with blessings and good things if you decide to see them. So repeat to yourself that your life is full of abundance until you believe it.

🌟“Negative emotions have no place in my financial goals.”🌟
Emotion has no power by itself. It can be controlled, even if the feeling is a negative one about money.

🌟“Money makes the world a better place.”🌟
Instead of believing that money is evil or ignoring it .Money is not bad. You decide how it is used, so use the money to make the world a better place. Believe that more money is good for you and others, and allow that to lead you. Money is a tool. Give to charities, buy gifts for family and friends, and use it for positive things.

Financial abundance is absolutely possible in your life. You are capable, and you make great money decisions. Use these 8 affirmations to make a real difference in how you think and act with finance. Monetary abundance is entirely possible for your life if you believe and work hard. Know that your attitude toward money will greatly affect how it is used in your life, so choose positivity and watch the wealth build.

5 Ways To Self Motivate

By //  by 

For many of us, we don’t have to keep on eye on motivating ourselves to reach the goals we want. However, as time ticks on and we sit at home; working, living, and just being it can be hard to feel motivated to do much else.

With life taking every twist and turn reminiscent of a box office hit film, you may ask yourself, ‘how can I keep doing this?’ Self-motivation may come in waves, in turn, inevitably you may feel less productive, but you don’t have to drown. Here are five ways you can remind yourself of who’s the boss. I’ll help you find the motivation you need to tackle the most mundane to what seems overwhelming.

1. Identify the block within

Lack of motivation can be identified externally, but internally is where the answers lie. Self-talk is one of many factors on what could be zapping your will to ‘do’. Science shows us that motivation causes intense emotional responses such as short breaths, tightened muscles, and racing hearts. This is very similar to what you feel when you’re excited. When you feel motivated to do something, there’s a level of excitement that is stirring within, pushing you forward.

Tune into your self-awareness to figure out what exactly motivates you personally. For some it’s money, recognition, thrill, a sense of accomplishment, or even competition. Has the thing you need to do lost excitement? Has your mindset on the outcome changed? Did someone say something that had you second guessing yourself? Once you can pinpoint what motivates you, that power can be harnessed to fuel your internal motivation motor.

2. Plan big, step small

I’m sure you’ve heard this a hundred times. Whatever you need to be self-motivated for, make a plan for the end result but don’t forget the small steps along the way. It’s very easy to hyper-focus on the goal while forgetting the successes it will take on the way there.

Take an example of a woman who goes to work day in and day out to help pay her bills and save for continuing education. To enroll she must have $3,000. She started with zero and now has $1700 saved. She may find herself demotivated because she isn’t enrolled in classes yet, the jobs she wants are being filled, and she feels she is getting too old for school. In turn she is cutting back on her hours because she thinks ‘what’s the point?’. A better way for her to view this is to appreciate the smaller steps is to relish that she is more than halfway to her larger goal. Maybe realizing she is halfway to her goal will help her re-plan the last half of her savings so it doesn’t take the same amount of time.

Setting micro-goals along the way to larger goals is certain to keep you on track and feeling fulfilled. Not only should you plan realistic goals but don’t forget all the effort it takes to make it there and reward yourself when you hit those milestones.

3. Motivation by proxy

A simple trick I have found when I’m lacking self motivation is to find others who motivate me. Looking for career change? Find a teacher for a hobby or class that will sharpen skills needed for that career. Need to lose weight? Read some books about others who have successfully traveled a similar journey. Fighting wellness on your own? There are endless books, movies, TED Talks, music, and more written and created by people who are just like you.

Witnessing others around us reach their goals and overcome adversity triggers something within. This is when you start to question your own motivations and use their success as inspiration. Success isn’t contagious but that doesn’t mean with you can’t feed off it. Look at the people you surround yourself with? Are they accomplishing their goals? If not, they could holding you back.

Spend time and absorb all that ambitious, driven, and successful people have to offer. Before long you will be in a similar boat. Don’t be afraid to incorporate traits, tricks, and mentalities that have worked for others.

4. Hold yourself accountable

Personally, when I know I have a large goal ahead of me, I do everything I can to be sure that I will be accountable for it. This can look like sharing my lofty goal with friends and family, joining a new group or club relating to that goal, enlisting a trusted person to check-in on my progress, or even using apps to steer clear of getting complacent.

As a means of staying committed once you have a goal in mind, tie it to a way to be accountable. We are great at holding others accountable but lack that same conviction when it comes to ourselves. Regularly review what you are doing and why you are doing it. When you feel yourself backsliding on a goal look for support but be honest with yourself. Are you spending too much time on social media? Do you still want your goal? Will you continue to work hard for it, even when it seems like it’s out of reach? Take responsibility for your actions.

Some of the most successful people in history will tout holding themselves accountable as a key component to their success. If you are struggling sit down and figure out why before giving up all together. The great thing about creating a plan for yourself, is that you can re-work it as needed. No great success was ever achieved without great challenge so don’t give up.

3. See it in your mind’s eye

Using imagery to visualize your goal is a big boon according to experts. If the recent uptick in ‘vision board’ searches is any indication, visualizing your accomplishment is part of the process. Your brain and nervous system actually can’t tell the difference between a real experience and one that is very vividly imagined.  Visualizing goals is a free mind hack that effectively helps you on your way to success by saying ‘I got this.’

I love using creative visualization as a way to picture how the outcome of certain goals I have look like to me. This helps flip the switch to the creative subconscious part of the mind while positively influencing your thoughts about a goal. Have you ever thought you were going to have a bad day and then you did have a bad day? This is the same concept, once you make your mind up that something ‘will’ be a certain way, you may find yourself subconsciously creating that reality.

Visualizing a goal increases motivation and inspiration to consciously act – because you want to achieve what your subconscious has “seen”. When you vividly trick your mind into believing what it’s seeing, you begin to work on shifting your self image, aligning your values, actions, and behaviors all toward your goal. Check out this video by Ashanti Johnson explaining the power of visualization.

Now that you have some new techniques to try out, remember all goals require a level of genuine interest, reward versus risk, breaking mental barriers, emotional fortitude, and old fashioned elbow grease. Don’t make the mistake of dwelling on past pitfalls. The power to reach your goal is within you and while you can’t change yesterday, you can change today!

The Art of Apologizing

By //  by 

Throughout my life I’ve been entangled in the most wondrous, stressful, emotional, uplifting, life-changing, evolving relationships both romantically and pla. I have learned much more than I ever dreamed simply by allowing myself to engage fully with those in my life. All of the lessons didn’t come wrapped neatly though. Some of them I learned the hard way and with the hard way comes mistakes, and with mistakes come apologies.

A simple apology can go a long way if it’s done effectively and sincerely. If you wait too long it could fall on deaf ears. If you approach it too soon it might not seem genuine. If you don’t choose your words carefully you can actually damage a relationship beyond repair.

Apologize to yourself first

In my early adult years I shifted a lot of blame to others for my situation and that wasn’t fair to me or them. It took a lot of time and inner work before I could understand how to express myself for forgiveness but now I find relief within apologizing. My first step when I realize an apology is necessary is to apologize to myself. I made the mistake. I reacted or acted in a way that doesn’t represent who I am. I am seeking self-forgiveness.

Apologies and forgiveness are about more than words and actions. First, you must truly accept what has taken place and show compassion to that face in the mirror, you. It’s important but quite difficult to accept what you have done. I believe this to be the absolute hardest step to an apology and the reason why so many apologies don’t come off as sincere. Owning up to your mistakes is a tough self-realization pill to swallow and not a guarantee that your apology being accepted by someone else but an imperative component.

You need to acknowledge what you’ve done to reclaim personal power over this situation in your life. You made the choices, you were in control of your actions, now you can forgive yourself. If you’re able to, try to dig deep and figure out what caused the situation to undesirably unfold as it did. Often we are able to look back with clearer eyes than we had when we were in the moment and can identify the trigger or catalyst to what went wrong.

When you do this, be sure to touch on how to, if possible, rectify the problem. Is there something you overestimated about how you’d feel in this situation? Can you formulate a new way to circumvent this outcome in the future? Feelings of disappointment, anger, guilt, apprehension, and more are normal when you’re trying to come up with a plan to correct a mistake.

The focus should be on self-reflection and self-forgiveness first before you can convey the heartfeltness behind your apology to someone else. At a certain point, regardless, you will need to move on and stop punishing yourself for the mistake and this can happen faster when you accept responsibility and take action. You are here now, be present, but integrate lessons from past experiences.

Why apologize?

There’s a lot of reasons you may feel an apology is needed. If even one of these jumps out at you, then you know deep down you should apologize:

  • You know you were wrong in hindsight
  • You lost your temper and said things you wish you hadn’t
  • You broke a rule of social conduct
  • You were lashing out because you couldn’t better express yourself
  • You intentionally hurt someone’s feelings
  • You want to take responsibility first
  • You broke trust between you and someone else

That’s just some of the reasons you may feel prompted to apologize. There’s many more, some will be unique to just you and your situation. Deciding to apologize can be hard because it feels like you’re admitting out loud that you failed in some way, and that you are a failure. That isn’t true though. Apologizing doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with you. It also doesn’t mean that you are entirely responsible for the conflict. Apologizing is simply you taking a step toward a resolution between all parties involved.

Feelings are complicated and apologies are built upon correlating feelings to the right words. The benefits that come coupled with forgiveness can offer a way out for tension and anxiety, build a stronger bond, reduce the chance for future conflict, open new lines of communication, restore feelings of safety/trust, or bring awareness to triggers and unhealthy personal patterns. Apologizing will hopefully help someone else just as much, so pinpoint what this apology means to you.

Apologizing is healthy, mostly

There has been research on apologizing and how it affects us. We generally want to apologize when we regret certain actions or words we exhibited. It’s been theorized there are two types of regret: regret for inactions and regret for actions. That means you’re looking back and feeling regretful about something you did or didn’t do.

When you offer up an ‘I’m sorry,’ you’ll find you are clearing the way for any negative emotions to move through. Perhaps this occurrence has caused you stress, body pains, appetite fluctuations, mental fatigue, sleep disturbances, or more. That’s why clearing the air may be your solace.

Apologizing lets you release these negative feelings and manifestations from within. Forgiveness can be directly linked to lower blood pressure, lower cortisol, lower mortality rates, and lower heart disease. Some believe it could also support improving your immune system in the long-term. This process that can’t be done overnight so be patient as you navigate forgiving yourself, apologizing, and hopefully receiving forgiveness from someone else.

Of course, there will be situations where saying sorry could cause further damage but that usually comes when you apologize out of fear, are bullied into apologizing, apologize as a means to an end, or feel you aren’t truly sorry. I’m sure you know someone who over-apologizes. They say sorry for the slightest, most insignificant infractions. You don’t want to appear weak, insecure, or not worthy of respect. Maybe you are an over-apologizer. If so, ask yourself why you feel the need to utter those two words so often and take a closer look at your self esteem and confidence levels.

A simple ‘sorry’

There is no magic formula for an apology. It is a very personal and deeply subjective format that is going to pan out differently for everyone. I generally opt to keep my apologies simple and direct, so there’s no more room for miscommunication. You want the recipient of your apology to take what you’ve said to heart and that’s why it needs to come from that exact place.

Let’s say I’ve lost my cool at my partner when we were cooking dinner together and I said something hurtful:

  1. Start with the basics. Begin with “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.” These words help convey the remorse you are attempting to express for your actions or words. What’s most important is the words be authentic and sincere. If you don’t mean it, they will be able to tell, and so will you. “Honey, I’m sorry for being short with you…”
  2. Briefly explain yourself. Optionally, very shortly offer an explanation for your actions. I’ve found explaining this helps the other party see the motives behind my position. This isn’t an excuse — use this as a way to show the vulnerability you feel at this time and in the past when this happened but you couldn’t express it. “Honey, I’m sorry for being short with you, I was frustrated that it was late and we didn’t have dinner ready.”
  3. Take ownership of your part. Remember when I mentioned earlier you have to accept responsibility for what you did or didn’t do? This is where you can acknowledge that and empathize with the other party. Think of this as the part of the apology where you show you understand how they may have felt. I feel this is where the biggest emotional connection is made in an apology. “Honey, I’m sorry for being short with you, I was frustrated that it was late and we didn’t have dinner ready. I know you were just trying to help and probably felt unappreciated. I should not have been short with you.”
  4. Attempt to make amends. Here is where you are going to attempt to make things right. I only say ‘attempt’ because that’s all you can do. Without expectations from the other party, you need to have a plan on how to fix things from your end. Many times, due to how much time has passed you can’t offer a 1-for-1 replicated redo of an event or occurrence. Avoid empty promises, guilty compromises, and complicated gestures and get real; the amends should be appropriate. “Honey, I’m sorry for being short with you, I was frustrated that it was late and we didn’t have dinner ready. I know you were just trying to help and probably felt unappreciated. I should not have been short with you. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know/if I can make you dinner one night this week I’d be happy to.”
  5. No repeats. As a final step I would suggest you let it be known that you will not repeat the action or behavior. For trust to be rebuilt, they need to understand that you want to repair things but also that you are willing to change. No one wants to forgive someone who they believe didn’t “learn” anything in the end. Once you express that genuinely, do your very best to honor your words in the future. I like to invite the other party to hold me accountable to this. Your reputation and relationship with them is on the line. “Honey, I’m sorry for being short with you, I was frustrated that it was late and we didn’t have dinner ready. I know you were just trying to help and probably felt unappreciated. I should not have been short with you. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know/if I can make you dinner one night this week I’d be happy to. I will manage my frustrations better so I don’t hurt your feelings again in this way. Please call me out if I do.”

If all of that sounds too complicated, a sincere “I’m sorry for _______,” will get the job done. It’s short, simple, and gets straight to the point. It also avoids your explanation coming off as an excuse — there will always be reasons why you did/didn’t/say/act, etc the way you did. These aren’t always needed in an apology if it’s going to bog it down and open the wound of the circumstances again.

Tip: Write down apologies first in a journal. By doing this you are providing a way for you to ensure the message you’re trying to verbalize is getting through clearly and succinctly. You can also look back in the future and see how you’ve grown.

Forgive but maybe don’t forget

As I stated before, this is an undertaking. You aren’t trying to undo all the hurt and pain that you and the other person felt. That’s impossible. You’re simply trying to share your remorsefulness openly. This is a key part of the healing that needs to take place for everyone affected. Give them space and time to hear you, process your words, reflect, and heal.

When someone who is wronged receives an apology from the offending party they can begin to develop empathy towards that person, which can foster forgiveness.

We all process things differently so maybe they will immediately forgive you, it might take some time, or they might not forgive you at all. Be patient and respect their way of getting through this, even if it doesn’t turn out like you hoped.

Apologizing is hard. It requires a level of humility that many of us do not exercise often. Blame shifting is easy, however, the self reflection needed to start the process of apologizing is tough. It requires a great deal of emotional maturity and openness. This is your strength, this is your power and something you can actively do.

All it takes is two simple words to get you started on the path of modesty, healing, self-respect, and love, are you willing to say them first?

The Balancing Act of Ambiversion

By //  by 

Introverts and extroverts have long been two sides of the “personality type” coins.

One prefers alone time, the other relishes and recharges hanging out in groups. Extroverts make snap decisions and introverts think carefully before speaking and acting. One group is fond of independent work while the opposite thrives in team-settings.

If they two were punctuation marks, one would be a period and the other an exclamation mark.

I could go on and on because there are thousands of articles written about the two and even more written about the ways to approach an introvert for friendship, how to date an introvert, and even how to care for an introvert when they are (inevitably) feeling down. But there’s not much out there for what to do when a perceived, or self-identified extrovert person isn’t feeling, well…extrovert-y.

“The worst distance between people is misunderstanding.”

As a mostly extroverted individual I am left flapping in the wind when it comes to self-care. As for the people who don’t think extroverts have the same range of emotions, off-days, need for time alone, and low points depending on what’s going on, I’m here to tell you — that’s just not true. I even wrote a piece exploring whether extroversion was encoded in each of us. Extraversiongets romanticized in movies as “the funny friend”, who’s always there to cheer you up, the strong shoulder on-call for you to cry on, or the one always leading the group into their next adventure.

That shit gets tiring. We’re people too. As a previously self-proclaimed extrovert I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve silently eye-rolled when someone casually says, ‘Oh, but that never happens to you,’ and abruptly moves on with whatever they were lamenting.

Over time the core concept behind introverts and extroverts has been distorted, reductive, and harmful to genuine connections. Currently, they speak to specific personality stereotypes that cannot be broadly painted over every unique individual. Trying to pigeonhole someone without looking at their full personality is not useful. Many of us may not even fit into the “standard” binary which I will discuss later.

These traits were not meant to separate us into ‘good’ or ‘bad’ nor were they ever meant to be a singular identity identifier, as they describe tendencies one may (or may not) exhibit. I view them more as a distinction to where one might focus their energy. Here are some of the most common misconceptions I frequently have encountered in my real life about extroverts.

“Extroverts love being the center of attention.”

Some extroverts love being the center of attention. Some don’t. Even if we do, which more times than not, I don’t mind…it can be exhausting. I can’t recall the last time I wasn’t invited somewhere only to find upon arriving, the group seems to have been waiting for me to flip the ‘fun’ switch. While flattering, it’s a lot of pressure to assume I must be “on” at all times when I am with people. I’m looked to as the captain of conversation topics. I’m expected to fill dead silences with funny anecdotes from my past. They look to me to lead the reminisce train through the catalog (I’m keeping?) of our friend group’s antics — complete with voice intimations.

No one ever considers for a moment that maybe an extrovert just wants to chill like everyone else. Maybe they don’t feel particularly talkative or in the mood to mentally recall all the funny times you last hung out. Extroverts need a break to recharge too. If an extrovert seems like they want to be low key, don’t guilt them in acting the opposite. Just because I’m not entertaining you doesn’t mean you get to boo me off the metaphorical stage.

“Extroverts are emotionally stronger than introverts.”

When the pandemic first started I had “friends” (i.e. people I hadn’t seen or spoken to in months and months) coming out of the woodwork texting, calling, trying to video call me all with the same general desire; cheer them up. Obviously the pandemic wasn’t affecting me the same way — because, duh, extrovert people don’t get sad. People reached out for words of comfort, a funny outlook on the global sadness befalling us all, or even just to have me personally tell them how awesome they were and how everything would be ‘Okay’.

I’m sad to say this was not reciprocated. Oh sure, I’d get the obligatory ‘But, how are you?’ only to be cut off half-way through my honest feelings with chuckles that I would be fine, I was an extrovert, I’d be able to laugh this all off and lift myself up. As an extrovert I am expected to do find the bright side of things, all the time. I quickly realized people I knew didn’t even consider that I could be just as, if not, sometimes more, sad than they were

“Extroverts are not self-aware deep thinkers.”

The number of times I’ve seen someone look shocked when I start talking about philosophical, heady, topics is countless. Introverts are usually the ones who receive the gold stars for being thoughtful, self-aware, knowledge thinkers who process information before sharing their opinions. Nope. Sorry. Extroverts are just as capable of these things.

Personally, what has kept me from tipping over into the conceited, self-centered type of extrovert is my profound interest in self-awareness and conscious actions. My love for Carl Jung, Eckhart Tolle, Jay Shetty, the ever-expanding exploration of what the Universe means and our part in it keeps me grounded. I know that my circle is tiny and the world is much bigger than myself. I’ll admit I do have a weakness for flashy, shocking, trendy things but whoever decided that up-to-date and sociable equated to shallowness needs a reality check.

“Extroverts do not need alone time.”

Being emotionally drained by social interaction is not solely owned by introverts. Prior to the pandemic I spoke to large groups of people (100+) around the country all year long. I traveled 10–15 times a year to other states for my speaking engagements. As much as I enjoyed sharing my thoughts and knowledge on certain things with others, I needed alone time. I would run and hide up in my hotel room many times after just to rest my mind and avoid being bombarded with endless questions or small talk.

There’s a flip side to that, some extroverts thrive in the company of others, as do I. However, that doesn’t negate the fact that we still need space to ourselves for a mental and emotional break. If it’s too much alone time, well that can cause us to feel antsy and get the blues. It’s about a healthy balance of social interactions and personal self-care time, with the scales tipping more into the social than our introverted counterparts, but we still have the need at times to just be on our own.

“Extroverts are naturally impulsive.”

This one really hits me hard. I am a die-hard Type-A person. This notion paints all extroverts as reckless beings who act first and think second and the consequences be damned. We’re supposedly known for learning by doing — trial and much error I’m assuming. Personally, when I enter a situation with no plan, watch me sit down and formulate one.

This misconception plays off the introvert’s assumed ability of again being a deep thinker and therefore thinking carefully before doing anything. Wanna guess how many of my “introvert” friends come to me for help in sorting out a mess they’ve found themselves in after presumably planning? It’s human nature to plan, not plan, succeed, fail, and everything in between. The outdated idea that extroverts are thrill-seeking, mess makers, just doesn’t make sense. We’re also supposed to be talkers who like brainstorming ideas aloud, so which is it —are we impulsive or brainstormers?

While I appreciate the time and studies that have gone into distinguishing the two personality traits of extroverts and introverts, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking during the past few years that perhaps I am not as extroverted as I once was. I’ve happily made my way more of a middle ground — I’m an ambivert.

Image for post
Personality scale courtesy of http://www.stretchedcounselor.com/

But wait…there’s a third option — Ambiverts

I’ve been encouraged since childhood to identify as extrovert. I was a child actor. I was ‘born to perform and entertain’ as my parents once put it. I was pushed to be a leader and sometimes a loud one to get my point across. I’ve had to adjust those extrovert traits accordingly for my career, when working in groups, if I’m sharing leader duties with someone, in friend circles where I don’t want to come across as domineering, when meeting new people when I want to make space for their personality to shine, etc. The older I get the more I notice that I have more introvert tendencies than I realize and it really depends on the situation. If we measure introverts and extroverts on a spectrum what’s hanging out in the middle? Ambiverts!

Ambiverts are the ‘gray area’ on the spectrum, the ones who have noticeable advantages over those who fall heavily into extroverts or introverts on the scale. Their personalities aren’t leaning one way or the other, rather they adjust their approach to others based on the situation. In turn, they’re able to connect effortlessly and in deeper ways with a wider array of people.

It was important to me (and maybe will be to you) on where I fell on the extroversion/introversion scale. All I had to do was increase my self-awareness, work on my emotional intelligence and then play to my strengths.

I found some of the key thinking for ambiverts were true for me:

  • Do I enjoy social settings but know when I’ve reached my social interaction bandwidth?
  • Am I able to lose myself in conversation just as easily as I am my own thoughts?
  • Is being the center of attention fun for me but not necessary for me to have a good time?
  • If I am asked to choose working in a group or alone, do I have no real preference?
  • Can I do small talk as non-anxious necessity but admit it can get boring?
  • Will I get bored with too much down down, after selectively staying busy?
  • Is it true I can equally appreciate alone time while understanding I can still be drained by others if around them for too long?

Are any of the above resonating with you? You might be an ambivert. I’ve been matching my approach to situations for years now— speaking engagements, planning events, hosting dinner parties, joining book clubs, creating mindful focused workshops, and more, all dependent on what the situation calls for. It’s allowed me to be more effective in most things I do. It’s not an all or nothing mentality. When I’ve been social at an event I am aware enough to know I need to start saying my ‘Goodbyes’. When I’ve been cooped up for too much I know to start looking for virtual dance parties.

If you’re open to gaining a better sense of self and where you fall on the personality scale, you can allow clearer insight into your preferences and natural abilities. Want to improve your overall performance in life? Take this quiz to see where you land on the spectrum, but no matter what it reveals, always listen to your true inner voice, and not what anyone else has told you that you have to be. Be yourself, it’s the only one you you’ve got.

Is Intermittent Fasting For You?

By //  by 

Intermittent fasting has changed my life.

Two to three days out of the week, I fast for 14–16 hours and I couldn’t be happier. Let me explain a little so you understand, I’m not just promoting a trendy health craze, it’s been around since about 1945 when it was discovered that intermittent fasting extended life in mice this study.

I have been weight conscious my entire life. I’ve always been a little heavier than the “average” girl and that has been true into my adulthood. In my late teens I ended up losing over 50 pounds in a very unhealthy manner and I promised myself I would never do that again.

Still, over the years I have tried the typical, rotating food and diet fads: Atkins Diet, Veganism, Weight Watchers, Raw Food Diet, Paleo, and even more I’m sure I’m leaving out. My point is, nothing ever really “worked” for me. I couldn’t find something that became a part of my daily lifestyle — I viewed them all as diets.

When I looked closer at my eating habits I realized…

  • I don’t always plan meals
  • I often skip breakfast
  • I prefer heavier meals earlier in the day
  • I have some days where I eat very little
  • I have other days where I load up on calories

Holy shit, I was the perfect candidate for intermittent fasting!

Fast, slow, what are we doing?

Intermittent fasting is not a limitation on calorie intake, it’s about reducing your eating windows to a limited number of hours in a day. You can fast anywhere from 14 to 35 hours. The key to intermittent fasting is to eat as much as you like during your non-fasting hours. I’m not talking about stuffing yourself like it’s Thanksgiving but don’t overthink how much you’re eating as long as you stay within your daily calorie limit you should be fine. I eat to satiety and not a morsel over — which used to be a very bad habit of mine.

Some non-fasting days I am not as hungry as I think I should be but I listen to my body closely. I use a lot of protein (eggs, chicken, turkey, etc) to fill me up while I keep net carbs pretty low around 20–30g. It’s important to put protein first when practicing intermittent fasting. Without your daily protein over a period of time (not just one or two days) you may start to see a decrease in muscle mass. This means a decreased metabolic rate, and in turn, you will be burning less body fat.

If you want to figure out what your suggested daily calorie intake should be, you can use this free calorie calculator.

During the fasting hours you do not consume anything with calories — this means foods and drink. For many people they have black coffee or tea to help smooth the edges of hunger. I don’t often feel “hungry” during my fasting time but I find that a simple cup of green tea can help my stomach feel less empty. I also feel like I enjoy the flavor of the tea a little more because I don’t have anything else competing for my tastebuds.

I’ll just eat less?

At first I thought intermittent fasting was like a diet but the more I learned the more I saw the beneficial differences. If you’ve ever tried a diet you know that it can be frustrating and difficult to stick with. You may experience micronutrient deficiencies, muscle loss, decreased bone mineral density, or worse.

The difference with intermittent fasting is that it exceeds the beneficial effects of just dieting through calorie restriction. It was studied and found to be not only equally effective for weight loss but overall better. The fasting leads to a more natural calorie restriction, without the feeling of being forced. Naturally, you seem to consume less. Surprisingly, having a large meal after a fasting period does not usually make up for the time you have been fasting.

That’s why there’s a few different ways you can try out intermittent fasting from the easiest to the most challenging:

– 5:2 Fasting –

For beginners to fasting this is a pretty simple approach to implement. You are mindful of your calorie intake, reducing it by 25–35% on one day, and follow it by an unrestricted eating day.

This good for someone who already has another layer to their eating restrictions such as low carb, keto, etc because it builds that into your calorie restricted day. The concept is to eat “normally” for five days and then restrict your calorie intake to 500–600 calories on the other two days.

– Fat Fasting –

For some people eating 4–6 small meals a day is the way they’ve tried consuming their food. With this suggestion, you would instead eat 1 or 2 regular, high fat meals, and then fast the next day.

– Spontaneous Fasting –

This was how I initially discovered fasting. Some mornings I would have breakfast and then not eat until my late dinner. Other days I wouldn’t skip breakfast and lunch but instead dinner. Never did this feel forced because it was just my natural way of eating at the time. For a lot of people, this is their favorite way to do intermittent fasting.

It can be a slow process where you put off your next meal by an hour or so each day until you’re skipping it entirely.

Image for post
Image courtesy of www.hempurecbd.com
– Segment Fasting –

This method has you fasting in predetermined hourly windows. You can try it as the 16/8 method — you fast for 14-16 hours and restrict your daily eating window to 8–10 hours. It is suggested that you eat mindfully within those time frames.

For example, ff you were to eat dinner at 9:00 p.m. then you would not have your next meal until 1:00 p.m. the next day. Thus, you’ve been fasting for 16 hours. If you’re a breakfast person this may not be ideal for you.

You can also have 20/4, or even 21/3 if you can manage depending on what suits you best. I like this method because fasting can easily be worked into sleep hours.

– Alternate Day Fasting –

This is a little bit of a challenge for those who aren’t used to eating like this. You fast every other day and eat what you like on the non-fasting days. I would suggest starting off with just one or two fasting days a week until you get the hang of it.

If you have a workout or exercise regime that you enjoy, be sure to check out how intermittent fasting works for you safely.

The results are in

My own experience with intermittent fasting has been a pleasant one. I’ve noticed after the first month that I was less glucose-dependent. I started to wake up and fall asleep more naturally. This means now when I get up, I have more energy, more focus, and less brain fog.

The most tangible benefit is that I’ve lost 20 lbs without trying! I haven’t exercised regularly and I’m still dropping the pounds. I am naturally eating less on the days/times I am eating. It’s also been a very convenient way for me to work with limited foods (depending on what gets sold out before my grocery delivery during the lockdown) and implement my low-carb lifestyle. I’ve had more time to actually prepare my meals in advance and in turn, they’ve all been healthier options.

If you are looking to try out intermittent fasting remember:

  1. Intermittent fasting alone won’t fix everything. You still need to monitor your sleep schedule, stress exposure, and incorporate some movement where possible.
  2. Try to stay busy during fasting times. I find it easier to stop focusing on food when I’m focused on something else. Go for a walk, start or work on a personal project, lose yourself in some music. A busy mind keeps my fingers from wanting to snack.
  3. It’s not for everyone. There are a few medical conditions that should be considered before attempting intermittent fasting. Sometimes even if we want to try something, it’s not a good fit for us. Make sure to always double check with your preferred medical professional before starting something like intermittent fasting.

Now, intermittent fasting isn’t without its drawbacks for some. This can be a hard structure to follow long-term if you’re trying to establish healthy habits. A lot of fasters tend to initially binge eat or steer away from mindful meal choices — this is a sure way to negate your caloric deficit. For others the effects could be more psychological where you experience the not-so-funny mood of ‘hangry’ or feel a reduction in energy and focus for a long period. On my first few weeks I also noticed I had some difficulties sleeping and craved afternoon naps. This has mostly subsided but I have introduced a 30–45 minute power nap into my routine on fasting days.

No matter how or if you decide to try intermittent fasting, the most important factor is you. How does this fit in with your lifestyle? Are you prepared to follow a food schedule? Will you make mindful food choices? If you give it a go (or already fast!) try out the app Zero for all your fasting needs like timers, stats, fasting informational libraries, journals, group fasting, and more. Oh, and don’t forget, good foods lead to good moods!

Stoned N’ Social – High Brow Art + Peanut M&Ms

By //  by 

Join Natali and returning guest Rocket in this week’s podcast as we discuss some of history’s most famous pieces of art and artists. Dissecting high art while high is always fun, right? Right? If you like tangents, plus thoughtful ramblings, the coveted title of ‘Munchie of The Week’ (MoTW) and of course, a lot of laughs, then listen here.

Listen here for the latest Stoned N’ Social episode!

Art we discussed in this episode in order…

Leonardo da Vinci – The Last Supper

Vincent van Gogh – Café Terrace at Night

Salvador Dalí – The Persistence of Memory

 Graham Sutherland – Portrait of Sir Winston Churchill

Georgia O’Keeffe – Black Iris

Banksy – Flower Thrower

Send us your questions, comments, memes, and munchie recommendations via Instagram or old school email us at stonednsocial@gmail.com

We support the use of cannabis for mental expansion and inner growth, also as way to broach a variety of topics and only condone its usage in a legal capacity according to your local governing laws.

Every Wednesday @ 12:00 am ET via iTunes

error

Spread the Soulrenity!